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Cassie's Network
Cassie, 24, London.
NEW FOLLOWER? COME SAY HI <3
Hey everyone, this is the place for me to vent anything I might be feeling. I have always kept journals and this is my online one.
Thinspo, dreams, black and white, flowers, suicide, melancholy, cats <3
Psychiatrically I have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), (mostly-) Pure O OCD, Endogenous Depression and Substance Abuse. I recovered from Bulimia for a while, but around 3 months ago I relapsed and Anorexia has now also come into play. I have been ocassionally hearing voices for a while now, which puts me on the borderline of psychosis.
Much as I get tired of the mental health system, it does help me understand myself better, since most of the time I have no clue who I am or if I even exist.
If you have any questions please ask, I am here to discuss important issues as well as random stuff :)
NSFW - The content of this blog might be triggering, please do not follow if you feel vulnerable.
I am pro ana/mia and pro cutting, but only where it concerns myself. I do not recommend eating disorders or self harm to anyone else nor do I encourage it.
Last binge + purge: May 12th 2012.
Last fast: May 2nd 2012
New - I have recently started a PROGRESS BLOG. Please ask for the password if you would like to see.
Not for EDNOS but for psychosis and some sort of manic depression and just blah. In a terrible state right now, life couldnt be worse yet it is altogether quite fascinating in the name of experience.
But I am not strong enough. I never was. I just want out. I hate myself and I hate a lot of other people and I feel so guilty and like such a manipulative bitch because I have alienated and hurt everyone who loves me. I could almost laugh. In fact I have been randomly laughing quite a lot because everything is so pathetic and pointless and yet it is a self fulfilling prophecy because I caused it. I had premonitions about it yet still followed the path I did. I have only myself to blame.
Now, if only they had some sort of potentially lethal object here… But they dont. I have been searching and searching to no avail. It is honestly cruel to keep me alive, I should have killed myself when I had the chance.
But yeah the point of this post was just to say I wont be updating much in the days to come. And hopefully never again, because I will try my best to cease to exist.
